Surviving the Holiday Season--Joyfully

I always find this time of year to be very stressful, though not for the reasons you might think. Being Jewish, I don't have a large x-mas shopping list. In fact if anything, this is the time of year when I am happiest not to be a Christian (too much shopping pressure.) What makes this time of year hard for me is that I am in the recruiting business. Since very little hiring takes place between Thanksgiving and the New Year, this is my "dry season."

In the past, I have written about the importance of using the holiday season as a time to focus on relationships. If you are in the job market, this is a good time to keep up your visibility so that you will be remembered when hiring decisions are made in the New Year. If you are trying to build your practice, the holidays provide many natural ways to connect with your clients and referral sources.

This year, however, I am doing things a little differently. While I have done a lot of marketing to keep up my visibility as we move into the New Year, I'm also taking time off. And so far, it is having a very positive effect on my normal holiday malaise.

Last week, we celebrated the bar mitzvah of my oldest child. Since it is a slower time of year, I took a couple of days off the help my wife prepare for the festivities. I put work out of my mind and focused on meeting and greeting friends and relatives as they arrived from out of town. On the day of the event, I was completely consumed with the ceremony, supporting my son, and being very present. A day later, I again focused on entertaining out of town guests and work was on the far back burner.

Today, a week later, I am still glowing. It was a great weekend and I was so proud of my son. While I didn't spend as much time at work these past two weeks, when I was at work, I was very focused.

Tomorrow, we leave on a long planned 2 week vacation in the sunshine. If we had stuck around, I would have nibbled away at some of my searches; but in all likelihood, I would have also felt very stressed out that none of my candidates were getting interviews or offers.

When I return, I expect to be refreshed and ready for action. I do not plan to be checking a blackberry or calling in for messages frequently. In the past, I would have felt inclined to do so. But this year, I'm planning to enjoy myself.

So if you are slow at work, here is my advice: Enjoy! Find something you like and do it. If not now, when?

A New Model of Flexibility

While I would echo the sentiments of Suzanne's post (i.e. that on a practical level, it remains difficult for women to find alternative path's to success in a law firm) there are some very good ideas floating around out there. For example, Deborah Epstein Henry of Flex-time Lawyers, has proposed an interesting model called F.A.C.T.S.

According to Henry's model, firms should offer women a mix of options. Women should be given the chance to choose a reduced schedule that is premised on the desire for regular hours, the desire for high-quality work or some mix of the two. While I'm not sure if any firms have yet to adopt the model, I would not be surprised if there were at least one firm trying it out within the year. The recruiting benefits of offering such a model are simply too great.

One partner's thoughts on balancing motherhood with law firm life

I first stumbled across Kathleen J. Wu's article in the Texas Lawyer almost two months ago. In the article, Wu, a partner with large law firm Andrews & Kurth, was curious as to the effect that now larger law firm salaries would have on practicing attorney mothers in Texas. As she notes, female attorneys understand that there will be have to be some kind of sacrifice to earn their new higher salaries.

What was so striking to me was that Wu, herself a partner with many professional accolades to her name, had no easy answers for women "trying to have it all." She acknowledges that she has no better answers for female attorneys striving to strike a professional balance with motherhood than she did twenty years ago.

But she is trying. And she wants to have answers.

She notes the increasing proliferation of women's initiatives in law firms and speculates that the market will demand reconciliation between these two competing interests. Like Wu, I hear a lot of about women's initiatives, but I have yet to hear much about its practical execution.

Tell the World About Your Successes

Like many lawyers, I grew up in a family where it was considered bad form to brag. I remember hearing my father (a math professor) speak disparagingly about businessmen and politicians. In his words, they were "operators". He valued achievement and in particular, academic achievement. Success that derived from fast talking was "cheating".

And so at an early age, I learned to temper my own bragging. Bragging was saved for indisputable accomplishment (a perfect score on an exam, first place in a competition, etc.)

As an adult, I've become much better at tooting my own horn. I've come to realize that there is nothing wrong with telling the world about your successes as long as you have earned them. In fact telling your clients, superiors, friends and family about what you have achieved is important on many levels. For starters, there are many far less deserving individuals who are only too happy to take credit. In addition, clients like to hear about your success because it reinforces the notion that they were right to hire you in the first place. Finally, the reactions you get can help reinforce your success to create more success.

When I found out that this blog had been selected for the ABA Journal Blawg 100, my initial reaction was: wow, that's great. But did I really deserve to be selected? Then I realized that this was news that I needed to share. So I started telling friends and colleagues. As the congratulations poured in, I realized that I should get the word out more broadly. So I began to e-mail more of my professional contacts. I sent notices to my alumni journals and contacted several journalists. I realized that this news was too good to keep to myself.

Successes are a great excuse to communicate with your professional contacts (or your superiors.) Don't be bashful about letting everyone know what you have accomplished and do not assume that they have already heard. People like to hear good news and sharing good news is a sure way to have your ego stroked. Did you get a good result for a client in or out of the courtroom? Let your colleagues at the firm know. Were you appointed to a high profile committee in or out of your firm? Contact your college and law school alumni publications. It may be bragging, but if you have done the work, you may as well get the credit and there are many times in life where we get no credit for our good work and deeds.

Holiday Parties and Relationship Building

December is a good month to focus on business relationships. There are many opportunities to attend parties and socialize. During this time of year, there are more chances to meet potential clients and find out their legal needs. And if you are a good listener and ask good questions, you will land your next client, right? Wrong!

Good business development does require good listening skills. Click here for a recent post on the subject. But don't go to the local Chamber of Commerce holiday party so that you can "listen" to the people you meet and then try to sell them your legal services. Business development requires that you listen for listening sake. A prerequisite to asking for business is to demonstrate that you are a trustworthy individual who is truly interested in the other person.

A contributing editor of Rain Today puts it nicely here:

Really successful salespeople are always establishing and deepening relationships with people. Doing so earns them the right to engage in a different form of conversation, around a buyer's needs and around selling.

If you think the "purpose" of building a relationship is to lead you along a process of selling the client, then you are likely to ask questions in order to get answers. Your idea of "listening" will be in service to driving the process model forward.

And your prospect will get the same idea: "He's listening to me in order to find an opening to best present whatever he's selling. I'll go along as long as it suits me, but I'm on my guard."

Hobbies are Good For Your Career

If the demands of work and family leave little time for personal pursuits, should you squeeze in time for a hobby anyway? "Yes" writes a career columnist in the New York Times. Even if you only have a few minutes a day, there are strong arguments in favor of taking a break in order to pursue an interest.

When you’re really engaged in a hobby you love, you lose your sense of time and enter what’s called a flow state, and that restores your mind and energy.

Given the on the job stress that most lawyers face, having an outside interest would seem particularly valuable. We are not wired to be in a heightened state of alert 24/7. The human body needs down time to recharge once in a while.

But stress management and productivity are not the only reasons to participate in yoga classes, collect old books, play guitar or go bird watching. A life with outside interests is more fulfilling. It is also a good way to help you market yourself.

If you like wine tasting, you will have a natural way to connect with other wine lovers. If baseball is your diversion, then you will find no shortage of fans who share your passion (particularly if you live in a city like Boston where the Red Sox have now won the World Series twice in a decade after an 80 plus year drought.)

So get out of the office once in a while. No one wants the number of ours they billed during their legal career captured in their obituary. But being a lawyer who was known for his love of sailing and his contributions to important charities...now that is an obituary to live for!